3 Reason’s You Want Some "Respeck" On Your Name

Birdman showed up at the Breakfast Club this past Tuesday asking the crew to “stop playing on his f***n name.” He also demanded that when they speak of him, they need to “put some respect” on his name. Kelly Ripa was “blindsided” by Michael Strahan’s decision to leave their morning show for Good Morning America for some undisclosed reason. When Kelly returned to the show, after a week off, she addressed the issue by stating “this started a much bigger conversation about consideration and respect in the workplace.” The definition of respect is a subjective evaluation that solely depends on individual people. People tend to think they live in a world where the folks around them will treat them with the same standard that considers their needs, wants and boundaries in every situation. Like your momma having an attitude because you didn’t return her call was she not important enough? Your man feels a level of disrespect that your dress is too short are you intentionally soliciting other men’s attention? Your woman feels disrespected that a bunch of heauxs keep flirting on your posts, do you constantly post with a sign that says “heauxs flirt here?” You feel disrespected that you did all the work on a project but get excluded from an important meeting at work, is it because your black? Most of the time people throw out the word “Respect” or “Disrespect” as a defense mechanism, so they don’t have to verbalize their true emotional state and insecurities about what they are feeling. But, do any of these everyday happenings have anything to do with disrespect at all or are these just ego bruises that make you feel depreciated? Your ego is your sense of self, and some egos require a constant boost of affirmations. Those of you who believe you have a precise definition of what respect means to you, why do you want to make others put some respect on your name?

Because you are so insecure that your self-image is easily offended and damaged. Many people feel an essential sense of separateness and incompleteness when placed in new or unfamiliar situations. You require people to show constant proof that you are important, and every time you don’t feel affirmed it makes you feel less important, which has an adverse impact on your feeling of significance. Some people get sensitive when they are called out on their bad habits and behaviors and consider it disrespectful even though the action is true. You would rather surround yourself with “yes” people who are willing to ignore your bad habits because a more direct and honest person that doesn’t mind addressing you only makes you so uncomfortable that you get offended and act out accordingly. Some people may react to this passive aggressively; others may respond more aggressive. Aggressors typically act out physically when their identity gets insulted; you strike back violently to reassert your power and let others know you are to be respected like Birdman stated he thought about doing; "I wanted to pull up on you, but I thought it was gangster."

Because you're terrible at reading situations and assume the other person is wronging you. Maybe your intention was to call your momma back, but you got sidetracked and didn’t get to it that evening. That doesn’t mean you intended to make her feel disrespected. Maybe your man doesn’t solicit the likes from anyone; he just posts what he wants out of pure enjoyment. Maybe your girl doesn’t want the attention of anyone but you, and she likes the look and feel of the dress. Perhaps, you were excluded from the meeting at work, because the great job you did on the project has now shed light on other classified information that you don’t have the clearance to hear, your efforts are still appreciated. I caution you to think and then think again about the negative connotation that gets associated with being overly sensitive, especially when we assume things. I don’t care to be around people I know that are easily offended by my approaches to interaction. I don’t want to spend my time calculating my behaviors and words just to keep them from getting offended; I don’t have the time or energy for that. People aren’t comfortable around other individuals who make them feel like they have to walk on eggshells because of their level of sensitivity. More importantly, people lack efforts to try and seek to understand others, before they wish to be understood; so they carry on with forcing their expectations on others and feel entitled to get respect without offering it first.

Because you are so narcissistic that you find it disrespectful for anyone to undermined your level of authority and need to control situations. They were saying that the network didn’t want to tell Kelly about Michaels departure, but they never said why they didn’t want to tell her. Based on her reaction, this was more about ego. The decision the network made, not to tell her about the departure, probably made Kelly feel less than important. I can understand this; I would have been pissed too, however, I would also be inclined to seek understanding for why the team decided to exclude me. Have I been that much of an asshole to everybody? Have I been that distant from my colleague that he didn’t want to keep it 100 with me? Not one person in the room thought enough of me to want to tell me? Well damn!

It is natural to need a feeling of significance, and none of the examples listed are ‘wrong’ feelings. But, significance and importance flow from the inside out. If you don’t believe that you are important and significant, then that insecurity will be what others observe of you, either through your lack of confidence or when you behave in ways to overcompensate for your fears, weaknesses, and insecurities. Get comfortable with acknowledging your ‘true’ feelings at the moment, but don’t obsess about the action the other person did that made you feel slighted in the first place. Spending time reflecting is the worst habit we tend to have, it almost always makes things grow out of proportion. When we acknowledge our ‘true’ feelings, we can move past them quickly and focus on a more positive reaction and resolution.

Whether you view a wrong doing as disrespect, or you’re just having an egocentric reaction to something somebody did or said to you, doesn’t matter. Build a more grounded sense of self and stand in it, don’t be dependent on affirmations from other people, be content with who you are and your standards. But always remember you must give respect in order to get respect.

What is your belief on respect?