3 Reasons to Always Keep it Hood
I recently sparked up a conversation with a colleague, a black man, about hoods in America. I shared stories of my hood in Dallas, and he shared stories he "heard" about the hood where he was from, the point of the conversation was that there is a hood in every city. Because he was only speaking hearsay, I wanted to know if he had a deeper understanding of the hood, so I asked, what is a hood exactly? He quickly answered; “A place where plenty of shit goes down like gangbangin, drug dealin, killin, a place where you wouldn't want to be.” A subjective response from someone who never lived in South Central LA, Southside Houston, TX, Southside Chicago, Brooklyn, Oak Cliff and South Dallas, TX, and other cities. It reminded me of the time when I first went to college, and I was around black guys from all over who were rapping hardcore lyrics that they fantasized about living, but I lived. I remember thinking, what do these guys know about this stuff? But it was how they connected back to the idea of what the hood is like through the story in a hip-hop song.
Hoods do have big crime and corrupt police forces that are getting exposed more these days for the fucked up manipulative power moves they sometimes pull. Hoods are not made up of just black people, all races and cultures including Hispanics, and whites live and carry a hood mentality not just influenced by the so-called "gangster culture" of rap and hip-hop. I don’t think people choose to come from the hood. It’s a part of their history and the continuation of a story started by their ancestors. The hood lives in me; I can’t run from it, no matter where I go or how much money I make, my life started there, and that shaped who I am. The hood gave me an advantage over any kid from the suburbs with a privileged upbringing, exposure, and education.
Courage is an essential component of establishing the life we want; I don’t think there is an economic class that understands courage better than folks in the hood. You are forced to man up, grab your balls and just do shit. There is massive social pressure and belittling; it’s like being scared straight into having guts. Being scared worked for my gall, I had to take shit as it came. But, the first time I stood in front of a man in a suit waiting on his judgments about whether or not I’m a good fit to work for his company, it was a different feeling. It was my first corporate job, and I couldn’t just ball my fist up to go for what I knew or sprint out of the way of a stray bullet. All I kept thinking was no matter what I say, all he see's is that I’m a nigga from the hood. The anxiety became an emotional habit wired into my brain; it held me back from a lot of opportunities. We all get confronted with fears and anxieties throughout life. People get uncomfortable for a moment in time, but then they go crank up their Range Rover, and drive home to their estate life and live the American dream. In the hood, we don’t get to escape moments of being uncomfortable; we live it. Fear incapacitates most people and keeps us from changing. For those of us who do make it out the hood, the state of mind is what keeps us living the same repetitive, reactive lives that we’ve always lived. It doesn’t matter that we have made it out, the fear we are cursed with haunts us, we are never really in control.
It could be the fear of asking for a raise and believing that you deserve it, or approaching the beautiful conservative woman at a party, or taking a stand for a promotion you worked your ass off to get but got overlooked without being labeled an angry black man. People I know and part of my moments of unhappiness were because I felt powerless. The fear and anxiety kept me from getting what I deserved. But I was tripping because I couldn’t understand how other people around me were getting everything they wanted like fearless go-getters. I didn’t grow up with unlimited tools and resources to live like other people. The hood is what taught me how to make a way out of no way. I needed to hardwire a different, more positive outlook, fuck what anyone else thinks of me, it was all about what I believed in myself. A pivotal moment of clarity for me.
When I ran the streets with my clique, it was important that we know the strengths of everybody in case shit popped off. Knowing when to draw on the strengths of yourself and your team is another advantage in business. Being more aware kept you in the reality of what was going on around you, your judgments were real, and that earned you trust and respect. The hood installed real responsibility in me. I wasn’t always under adult supervision, so it was my nature to play with fire; I got burned often. The hood doesn’t protect you from yourself; it leaves the door open for you to take risks, without anyone to talk you out of it. Being comfortable with taking risks prevents you from playing it safe and small in business, you don’t get trapped in a place of comfort because the hood doesn’t afford you the luxury of feeling like you can ever put life on auto pilot and chill. I had to be aware of my surroundings but not get lost in the moment, because the next wrong move was always right behind me.
One universal lesson from the hood is the more you fight, the stronger you become. The same persists with something you fear. Say you have a major pitch to make that could determine if your business is living or dying. If you live the moments leading up to the pitch, in fear, more than likely the fear will dominate the presentation and drown you out completely. See when fear is after you, there is no point in running, hiding or acting like it doesn’t exist. It’s better to put yourself out there in the face of the fear, stand your ground and overcome it. I had to learn I couldn’t control fear through avoidance, I had to face it and get shit off my chest, it’s the only way I sleep well at night. It took me failing a couple of times horribly in interviews to become comfortable with my anxiety; I got tired of losing. Anxiety is a strange paradox that most people suffer. I never had a problem with anxiety around individuals who understood me, and could relate to my point of view. But, around people from other parts of the world, I won't lie it made me nervous, I felt like they wouldn’t get it. But I stopped making it about them and started making it about my desire to win, beat them and become stronger. Accept me.
It doesn't matter where you're from, we all have a unique value and perspective on life. There is no one else like you; that is what makes the universe inherently beautiful and amazing. Being your true, authentic self in every situation, is just what the world needs. Authenticity creates higher levels of empowerment, creativity, and overall well-being — a great place to be when helping others. When enough people from all walks of life agree with the perception of truth, they can exert influence. The truth is how we evolve as individuals and cultures. Be Authentic in Everything You Do.
