3 Ways to Win a Fight

Texas Rangers second baseman Rougned Odor punched Toronto Blue Jays Jose Bautista in the face and popped off another brawl between the two teams over the weekend. Texas Rangers pitcher Matt Bush hit Bautista in the elbow and ribs with the baseball going 96MPH; this pitch got Batista walked to first base. On his way to second base, Bautista took a hard slide at Odor’s leg during a double play. A hard slide during a double play isn't uncommon; players are taught to break up the double play by sliding into the base, often the intent is to make some contact with the field player's body to disrupt the relay (My grandad was a pro). It appears Batista took a hard slide at Odors legs; Odor turned around; they squared up; Odor pushed Bautista then cold-cocked him right in the jaw.

Damn, did Odor feel that disrespected by the hard slide? Is it that Bautista could have hit Odors shins and knocked him out of the game or season? Or did the Rangers team as a whole already have it out for Bautista? Aggression is an underlying tone in most sports, but as an athlete I remember finding it hard to leave this aggression at the game, it would often pour over into my daily interaction and conflicts with people outside the sport. Common forms of aggression like petty relational battles you often see reality tv casts or pop stars get into that walk a fine line of ‘mean girl’ and bullying each other. Verbal aggression, typically happens when you piss your girl off, and she decides to use that moment to tell you how weak you are as a man, which could be true, but now is not the time. Then you play into it, and you both use your words to gut each other like fish. Both forms of aggression happen a lot on social media. Specifically, the weak ass twitter beef people have, or the internet trolls whose primary goal is to augment their misery with your company. I think Twitter is a useful tool for instant communication with people all over the world, but it's a weak ass tool to use when you want to confront someone. If we are cool enough for me to give even two fucks about confronting you, then that means I probably have your phone number, and I will call to talk it out. Like Jay-Z said, "Fuck hashtags and retweets nigga 140 characters in these streets nigga." Face to face is my preferred method.

Physical aggression was my weakness when I was younger, I had an invisible line, and when crossed, I might have popped a bama just like Odor popped Bautista. I understand now how ignorant I was back then. It's important to stand up to any bully, and sometimes things got physical, bloody and blown way out of proportion by kids at school or in the neighborhood. Back then fights were cleaner with classic punching, hair pulling, and wrestling to the ground before punching or getting the shit punched out of you. But these days things turn way more violent than just a clean physical fight.

Violence usually is a more extreme form of physical aggression that more than likely results in someone or something getting hurt. Fist fights and fights with weapons can cause some serious damage physically, and even to your whole life, in the blink of an eye. Especially teenagers, you’re old enough to inflict serious injuries that aren't intended to be acts of violence but can turn into it. The fight in Delaware high school bathroom that kills a 16-year-old girl is a prime example; my heart bleeds for her family.

Homicide is the most extreme form of violence, and major news stations like CNN reported this week that U.S. cities see a spike in homicides by 9% in the first three months of 2016 compared to this time in 2015. The increase represents crime reported from more than 50 cities and metropolitan areas; even Dallas saw a spike over Houston.

FBI Director James Comey blamed the increase on the "viral video effect," suggesting that police officers are more hesitant to do their jobs now that people are recording them and posting the videos for the world to see when someone gets treated unfairly. I guess they feel if they can't respond brutally then they don't want to respond at all. Comey is the same guy who blamed the surge in violence last year on the "Ferguson Effect;" the notion that police didn't want to be a star in the next YouTube episode of Americas Next Bad Cop. It's the same patronizing, finger pointing bullshit that put people in a position where they feel they have to record law enforcement because they can't be trusted. Comey can't even be trusted to accept accountability on behalf of the FBI and entire force; instead, he blames metaphors like the viral video effect and Ferguson effect, and they keep putting him in front of America to represent them. Society off-handedly tried to blame hip hop “gangster rap” on the increase of violence back in the day which makes the comments Comey has made in the last two years seem like disrespect I’ve heard over a few decades now. Even though our hip hop representatives keep giving them ammunition when they allow their crews and entourage's to engage is nonsense like Boosie and, Kevin Gates did earlier this month.

Although today I am a lot calmer and confident in demeanor, I was hot head growing up, and at one point I found myself in more than just street fights and club brawls like many of my generation. And you may not necessarily know why it's inevitable that you will curse someone out if they say the wrong thing to you or words escalate to throwing bows; at the moment, you just go for what you know. But for every action, there is a reaction, and I didn’t want my destiny dictated by a senseless act of violence that would label me another statistic. I needed a better way to manage my adrenaline and get control of my emotions under the stress of a violent confrontation. I learned there was more to communication than just physical, from observing how kids who were raised differently from me reacted when they were in a confrontational situation. But I couldn’t help but think it was cowardly to ignore someone speaking to you disrespectfully or to walk away when that person deserves to get chin checked. This is what Odor felt Bautista deserved right?

I learned that I had a different mindset than the other kids I was comparing myself against. It all begins with the way you communicate with yourself, the way you think (Internal dialogue) and talk (external dialogue). Perspective is both a synergistic and dynamic process. The fear and worries that we self-communicate internally affect the way we feel which in turn affects the way we act; a direct reflection of how our lives are shaped and lived. Any change to the internal and external workings of what makes us individuals almost always directly impacts our whole being. Perspective can be supported with many different examples one being the concept of a good girl gone bad. But for the sake of this topic I will apply it to a violent confrontation, what happens before, during and after.

Some people freeze up in the face of confrontation or get upset and cry, a reaction to the adrenaline stress; could be a fear of the consequence, especially if they know they are gone get that ass whooped. If you fear losing then you won’t do anything to deal with the situation, but this could be the standard in any case be it physical (fight, competition, sport) or mental (hard work to meet stretch goals). Of course, the fear doesn’t just have to be about getting your ass whooped; it could be about police involvement, lawyers, jail, or anything. The bottom line here is if you think you will get your ass whooped then more than likely you will. You have to change your mindset. Think of yourself as a winner in anything that you do, say it to yourself internally and out loud. Repeat it to yourself over and over every day. SAY IT WIT YOUR CHEST!

I would bet anything that Odor had his mindset to chin check Bautista if he tried any slick shit like last year Bautista flipped a bat during the game that caused the first brawl between the Texas Rangers and Blue Jays. It seems Odor and the Team were looking for any reason to pop off this year, no matter how small, and Bautista gave him that reason.

Setting your mind starts with your perspective of the forthcoming event. Are you scared, why? Are you nervous, why? Did you prepare? Have you practiced? Did you put in the hard work to win? Mentally rehearse how you will win, visualize yourself winning, say I AM A WINNER out loud, SAY IT WITH YOUR CHEST!

Mentally prepare yourself to fight until there’s nothing left to fight about! Your focus and thoughts should be, “what I’m gonna do, fuck what anybody else is going to do or say." Do You! There will always be someone who thinks they are important enough for you to give at least one fuck about what they think or say about you. Fuck em!

The roots of your mindset are planted in your values and beliefs. My values and beliefs shaped my aggressive mindset to engage most situations with a negative attitude, combatively, with my guard up. I learned to repurpose my aggressive energy into my determination for success. Refocusing my attitude on real success helps me control my fear of failure, but leaves me aggressive enough that I don’t accept no for an answer. Striking a balance between aggressive and assertiveness is crucial. Critics like to call certain acts aggressive when a person is legit in their approach to the situation it's just that the judge didn't like it, so they cry aggression. Fuck em! Be assertive about achieving your dreams and goals; as long as you’re not causing harm to anyone let them deal with their own chagrin.

Any way you look at it, violence is a negative and anti-social behavior frowned upon by society. I am less likely to engage in violence at all these days, my goals and priorities in life are worth more than busting someone upside their head or engaging in a petty argument that isn't increasing the zeros in my bank account. Everyone has choices in life, and for every action, there is a reaction that will impact you, your future, your health and your wealth one way or the other. For baseball players in a game it may just be a penalty fine or suspicion but in real life, the cost could be much greater. How will you choose?