THE EVOLUTION: YOUR STRENGTH IS YOUR STRUGGLE

There is this idea that being determined and able to bounce back from moments of being stretched thin, means we can practically stand up to anything and progress in life. Do you name your mistakes and Label your failures? Is it meant to stimulate your will and drive? Our history tells the story of how we've always had to be strong in our times of misery. We are born pure, but the struggle stresses something different. Struggles have deprived our judgments and blinded us to opportunity. Obstacles that blocked our ancestors are gone, so why do we still carry pain and frustration? Lost sight of opportunity is one of our biggest weaknesses as a culture. What if we learned to make the weakness our strength? What if we nurtured ourselves to embrace struggle as an opportunity? What if this is one of the keys to unlock the doors of every obstacle and indeed make us victorious? Individually we each have areas we could improve on but let’s not sugar coat shit here, we all have weaknesses. Nobody’s perfect. I’ve often heard people say it’s better to focus on your strengths and ignore your weaknesses to reach success. But it’s usually the weaknesses that get us caught up every time.

If we look at personal strengths, think about what comes naturally for you. Maybe you have the ability to make other people feel good through your warm presence or calming smile. Think about gifts you have that are relatively rare in most other souls. Maybe you have found it hard to meet genuine people, with pure intentions and a sincere heart, but people seem to notice these attributes in you. Don’t confuse something you like and awe over as strength. Just because we like something or admire it, doesn't mean you do it best. I like music, so I sing in the shower, and when I'm riding in my truck, but that shit wouldn't fly in the real world. If you reflect for a second, have you built your life and career around your personal strengths? Applying our special potential is how we produce the most value for other people and situations. The ultimate success comes when you support your passion with your strength. Something about it breeds happiness.

Using our strengths is hardly a problem for most people. This issue is when you ignore your weaknesses. It's not easy for anyone to take pleasure in weakness, disrespect, hardships, imprisonments, or struggle. But, not caring about a weakness or ignoring it can be dangerous. Time is limited for all of us, and parents have a lot more responsibility and even less little time day in and day out. It is easy to get caught up in disappointments, setbacks, failures, losses, needs, and troubles. Search for strength in time and conquer moments of weakness. Steadfast in the daily grind and focus on seeing a new opportunity can increase your chances of coming out better than you did going in. Don't fail opportunities to improve certain parts of your life.

It's crazy that we know how to handle hard-hitting shit like; how we learned through experience to deal with being broke and humiliated; living in a state of need. It’s the everyday little shit that taunts us the most. Poor communication, ego’s bigger than Texas, dangerous amounts of pride, money and all its evils, being lazy, careless of our responsibilities and relationships which make us selfish. When shit gets tough for most people, they find something easier to do like watch TV, or work on shit that doesn’t require much mental or physical work, or they quick to want to be around someone who will tell them what they want to hear instead of challenging their views. The little shit in life is why we have so many broken homes; children raised without fathers and mothers living in poverty. It’s why marriages end in divorce and families live cracked over periods of violence and confusion. The only way to overcome it is through conditioning our minds with the mental strength, determination, and grit it needs to live. There will always be big moments that need ridiculous amounts of flexibility and courage, but that's easy. It's good that you kept it together at kinfolk’s funeral. It's good you bounced back after filing bankruptcy, or you didn't blow up when you found out about your daughter's teenage pregnancy. The strength of your mind is not just about how well you respond under pressure or in a crisis. It all boils down to being consistent in dealing with the little shit that eats away at your mind every day.

Build up your mental strength by knockin' down the low-hanging fruit and making quick wins. Go home and cook dinner, especially on the nights you keep telling yourself you don't feel like it. How many days have you been to the gym this week, because you're too tired to work out? How many times have you started reading a book and put it down? But you can sit and watch Love and Hip Hop, right? Push yourself to get up and go to the gym, especially on the days you don’t want to. Turn that TV off, go for a run or a Starbucks run and then come back and read your book. Your body is fine; it's your brain what doesn't want to work, but you have the power to make it. Run that extra errand. Take that other client. Challenge folks who are trying to make you settle for less. Prove to yourself and teach your children to have enough heart to go toe-to-toe with life in the ring every day. It’s the small individual choices that develop the muscle of your mind.

You can’t sit and think your way to becoming mentally stronger, it's an abstract quality, and it’s hard-wired to action. Grit and has to become a part of your character, regardless of the talent you’re born with. It's all about your habits and determination, not your motivation. You can’t just wait to get inspired. You have to build up the daily habit that keeps you so focused you master challenges over distractions consistently. Stay hungry. Anyone can be made more consistent. And the competition is always hungry.

In every area of life — it’s how you get down to the nitty-gritty; that will predict the outcome of your success. Being weaker or stronger in something does not determine or define how good you will continue to be. Hard work and determination are worth way more than intelligence and education. I have witnessed this often in corporate America. There are plenty of people with natural talents, gifts, and strengths. Some of those people end up sitting on the sideline watching other people reap the benefits of something they know they would be better at doing because they didn't put forth the effort to accomplish it. Settling for a life completely outside of their obvious gift has a level of success, but is that level of success worth the sacrifice of your ultimate happiness?

Talent is overrated. Any weakness should be molded into strength. What defines how good you can be is your dedication and passion. Any ability you have should turn into expertise. It's all about practice. In whatever form your experience takes, expect there to be obstacles to overcome. Expect your dedication to get tested. You get pushed to your limits. Haters constantly try to exploit your weaknesses and deny your strengths. But all things difficult eventually submit to one quality: drive. Be persistent enough to overcome. Never give up. Never accept defeat. Even if you really suck ass at something, it's always possible for you to build it into strength. You may start out shaky, but everyone starts off as a student! It's the hard work and dedication that will build the skill and strengthen the weakness.

I will never accept the argument that we should stop developing weaknesses if our life calls for us to be competent in that area. A parent shouldn’t get away with being a tyrant – so recklessly misplaced that their children suffer just because “that’s how they are”- it’s a weakness no child should have to endure. Some parents out here are bullying their kids, handicapping and crippling their children's independence; being violently abusive, damaging their minds, weakening or even killing their child's mental strength. It's bullshit, and should be punishable by law.

True strength acknowledges weakness. It's the little things that weigh heaviest on our minds and become the source of our disputes and our demise. Your greatest weakness lies in giving up. Life is made of the results from decisions we make. The more we know about ourselves, our personal strengths and weaknesses, the better we become at making the best decisions for our life. Knowing your own values uplifts your self-awareness and offers you clarity. The world is full of pleasures that can quickly turn into trouble if it reaches beyond what is good. It is easy to run away from the things we ought to be doing, and even easier to run after things we shouldn't be doing. Don’t run away from challenges, but don’t be fooled by them either. Choose wisely.